The Singapore Sprint

Monday 1st March, 5.10pm, The Inncrowd Backpackers Hostel - Singapore

Oh the magic of air travel. Less than 48 hours ago I was writing to you from Kuala Lumpur, but having flown from that city early on Sunday morning I have now spent almost 2 days and a night running around the sights of Singapore, my current destination. I never meant to leave myself so rushed and short of meandering time. The problem you see is that before I came away I pre-booked a flight from Singapore to Bali for this evening, the 1st of March. Then two things happened. The first was that I spent 11 days on Koh Phi Phi - very naughty. The second is that I forgot there are only 28 days in February - very stupid. So possessed as I am with this winning combination of laziness and sheer idiocy, I have left myself an unsatisfactory amount of time with which to sprint around Singapore. But sprint I have.

When I changed my status on facebook yesterday morning to let the nearest and dearest know where I am, I was instantly inundated with suggested itineraries. How have all these beloveds of mine been to Singapore without me knowing about it?! Note to self: pay more attention to friends. So armed with a lengthy list of recommendations, a sturdy pair of trainers, a large bottle of water, a Metro ticket and a map (I would like to pretend at this point that I also had a compass and a pair of binoculars - but I'm not that proficient a navigator just yet), I took to the streets to do as I was told.

In the space of 31 hours I have visited the Merlion, a gargantuan, white stone statue, half lion and half fish, that shoots a spray of water from it's mouth into the Marina and is Singapore's national symbol - don't ask me why, I didn't have the time to find out, I have been to the memorial site of Sir Stamford Raffles' landing, I have taken in the Botanical Gardens and I have walked around the Concert Hall, not sure if I was allowed to do this, but nobody stopped me. I have sipped (OK, I gulped it, but I'm on a tight schedule you know) a Singapore Sling in Raffles Hotel Bar, I have perused the various shopping malls along the wealthy consumer's dream street that is Orchard Road, I have made a wish at the Fountain of Wealth and walked around it 3 times with my hands in the water so that it comes true, I have been on a scooter tour of the city - and by scooter I mean those aluminium skateboards with handlebars which you propel yourself along on with one foot on the pavement (new bruises = 3), and I have joyfully travelled North, South, East and West across the various underground lines of Singapore's Metro network. Wow, now that I write it down like that I'm quite proud of my achievements, amazing what you can accomplish when you show some commitment to the cause. I forget to note that within this time frame I also managed to get lost, ooh, about 8 times. Got to get a compass.

A word on the underground system here, it cannot go unmentioned because even without the obvious comparisons to London's tube, it really is remarkable. Trains come on time, to the second. There are enough trains that platforms never get crowded and once you are on you don't have to jostle for breathing room or fight for a seat because they have wide, spacious carriages that are competently designed and air conditioned. Passengers let other people off before getting on, without having to be shouted at over the tannoy to do so. There is no rubbish or graffiti anywhere, no drunk yuppies on their way home from the office asking if you want to share their seat, no one sat next to you eating a tuna and garlic sandwich, no delays due to "signal failures", no one vomiting on the platform. The tickets are cheap, the journeys are smooth, some tunnels are lined with video screens showing commercials so that when you pull in to a station and wait for new passengers to climb aboard you are bombarded with the subliminal strands of advertising that flicker through the train windows.

As Kuala Lumpur was categorised for me by it's abundance of Starbucks and tall buildings, so Singapore is classified by it's Metro. Kuala Lumpur was modern, and of it's era, but Singapore; Singapore is the future. Travelling on that underground train network I genuinely felt like I was an extra in a science fiction film, these people are years ahead! It's not just like this below street level either, this city is so forward thinking and rigorously planned that you walk around half expecting to see people travelling by jet pack, or robots emptying bins. To be honest, as pretty and organised as it is here, I find it all slightly disconcerting. It's got the touch of George Orwell's 1984 about it. Cities aren't supposed to be this clean, the air shouldn't smell this fresh, highways aren't meant to be so de-congested, people don't usually do as they're told. I spent 2 hours yesterday walking round with a dirty tissue in my hand hoping for a bin because I was convinced that a police officer would leap from a well-pruned shrub and shoot me in the head if I dared to drop it on the floor. You know that chewing gum is illegal here? ILLEGAL. These people don't know what Wrigley's Juicy Fruit is for god's sake, this isn't normal!

However, despite my concerns that I've actually flown in to some extra-terrestrial universe where human-resembling aliens conscribe to the all encompassing law that cleanliness is next to godliness, I do very much like Singapore, and can see why so many other people like it too. It's just that I prefer my cities a little grimier, a little more down and dirty, slightly more tampered by character flaws and stained with the evidence of palpable human life. This is why, I suspect, that my preferred part of Singapore is where I have chosen to stay, Little India, which feels a lot less like Singapore and a lot more like, well, India actually. My favourite hours spent in this city have been the ones wandering around this rebellious and imperfect district. Whilst here, being the impressionable person that I am, I have bought a Bindi (doesn't suit me), got a Henna, eaten Chicken Tikka Masala, learnt how to make Roti bread (already forgotten) and spent last night and the early hours of this morning pretending I was in Slumdog Millionaire, showcasing my best Indian dance moves in a Bollywood club along with 10 other recruits from my uber sociable hostel.

So I've been busy, but it's been worth it. I am now sitting slumped in a bean bag at the hostel, awaiting my bus transfer to the airport - which I have no doubt will arrive precisely on the minute it was booked for. I feel I've made up somewhat for my lethargic Phi Phi days and my forgetting of the yearly calendar, '...all the rest have 31 EXCEPT February alone...'. I hopefully enquired of someone earlier if 2010 is a Leap Year. But no, I'm informed it is not, so no 29th for me, no more time in science fiction future, back to the present, on to Indonesia.