Christmas Day 2009, 10pm, Monkey Republic Guest House - Sihanoukville
To, my Loved Ones,
Today I took a boat to a private island with 4 lovely ladies and 10 strapping lads. The 15 of us swam in the ocean, had a barbecue on the beach, played with a frisbee, slept in hammocks, and drank cold beer dressed in tinsel and bikinis. We also had hi-jinks setting up a camera on a tripod, with a timer, and all attempted to jump up in the air at the same time for our Christmas card photo homage to The Beach. I had as much fun as it sounds like I did, but missed you all dearly. I hear it is snowing at home, and even though the new friends, sun on my skin and dance beats on the boom box were welcomed with open arms, a small part of me couldn't help wishing I was with old friends, in the freezing cold of London town, sick to death of hearing Jingle Bells on the radio.
If we are lucky I figure that most of us will see around 75 Christmases in our lifetime? This thought makes my heart leap this evening; I have had 23 traditional Christmases with family and friends and 1 Christmas celebrating on a Cambodian island, who can tell at what future parties and with what future loved ones I will spend my next 51 Christmas Days. It is a good feeling to have no idea, for the first time I am relishing the unpredictability of life - not knowing what another 51 Christmases have in store for me makes just being alive seem like one big adventure. I only hope that this time next year, wherever I am, whoever I smother in kisses at midnight on Christmas Eve, whether I'm moaning about frostbite or sunburn, that I will have held on to this contentment. My favourite author, Carol Shields, says that 'happiness is a pane of glass we carry in our heads', the idea being that it is perfect and pristine, but fragile, and sadly, too easily broken. I'm cushioning mine in bubble wrap this Christmas, refusing to let it shatter.
Merry Christmas my darlings, far away but holding you all firmly in my heart today.
Here's to the Uncertain Future.
All my love always,
Gracie xxx.
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